WRF2 : We Are Family Too

Words alone are not enough to explain what family means to me
- Barry Price, Dublin

“Recently returning to live at home after four years away has been an enlightening experience and something I would not change. Well for the moment anyway.

For me, my family is the centre of my universe – my sun, moon and guiding stars. My family gives me the gift of love every single hour of every day – generally unconditionally unless there are chores to be done.

Regardless of chores, I love them.

Without my family, life would be meaningless to me. I would have nobody to discuss the intricities of GAA or why I should not plant a Clematis plant in such a small pot because it will not grow properly. Nor would my understanding of the effects of the seasons be as heightened as it is. As I live on a farm, I can just about make out when a cow is ‘bulling’ or a calf is sick or when a horse has a sore foot or that holly trees only grow berries when there are pairs together. All of these little things make my family life richer and it is richer because of the constant-ness of love.

Family provides stability. It provides the basic building blocks for devotion, loyalty and friendship. It is hardly any wonder then, that the historical family unit is so hotly contested given the wealth of positive attributes which are given to it. That said, the composition of family units can and do change. The stability a loving family is what is key. Love is the key to stability and acceptance of love in all its forms is what makes families work.”

- John/The Angry Hedgehog, Tipperary

Conor Pendergrast is a perfectly normal twenty-something with loving parents and a little brother. He also embodies not just the theme of “We Are Family Too” but a huge chunk of Dublin Pride’s spirit of the theme. Why? His parents names are Anne and Bernadette.

He kindly agreed to write about “What Family Means To Me” on his own blog. I’m only going to reproduce part of his “We Are Family Too” post here. I would encourage you to go directly to his blog post and read it. And read more about him and his family while you are there.

I guess it means love, security and warmth. It means having people around you. We’re a pretty close-knit family I reckon. Working together makes it difficult at times, but that’s pretty normal! Family to me means whatever we decide to make it. It doesn’t matter to me that people think my parents shouldn’t have children, or even that they shouldn’t have a legally recognised relationship. Try telling me that my mums don’t deserve recognition for staying together thirty years, for raising four cats, two dogs, a pony, a horse, countless chickens, rabbits, fish and two children. They’ve done a damn good job. They’ve provided for us for the last 24 years of my life and I know they’ll give me the support I need whenever I ask for it – and even when I don’t.

[...]

We aren’t perfect, but I’m pretty sure none of us care. We love each other and that’s far more important than any stepping-stone legislation, any discriminatory escape clause, any pompous self-serving religious and political figures, any idiot arguing from morals on an issue of rights.

We are family too – even if you don’t think we are.

Read the rest of Conor Pendergrast’s WRF2 article.

 - Chris O’Hea, Cork

Family is a group of people no matter what age or gender or their orientation they stick together through what ever has been thrown in their path. Helping each other to achieve a better way of living. A Family is equal.

– Robyn Maguire, Dublin

And the picture is of the pride flag she carried last year with her Family.

Last month my uncle died from cancer. He had been putting up the fight of his life for thirteen years. Over those years I only seen him a few times. He was a taxi driver, a huge family man, kind and an Elvis fan. Every time the future began to look bright again, the cancer came back stronger each time.

Over the past two years his condition went downhill and we didn’t know when but we knew the end was in sight. My family had always visited him and gave him the love and the support he needed when he was at his lowest points. What amazed me and what showed me what family really meant during the last weeks of my uncles life was how my mother and her brothers and sisters came together and helped each other through this difficult time. They were all up around his bedside everyday. They talked to him even though his sight, speech and mobility had gone. Sometimes if they were lucky he would show a sign that he was listening. The only things keeping my uncle alive were his hearing, his heart and his family.

My mother would come home for a rest and go straight back up to him. She told us how he was and how every night they were in his house the nurse would tell them to say their goodbyes, but he just wouldn’t let go.

What family means to me is being there for each other in the hardest of times, it means pulling together and facing what life throws at us, family means holding on until the very last second. My mother told us that they told him it was alright to let go, because they didn’t understand why my uncle held on for so long at the end. But i believe he held on until he knew that his brothers and sisters and his family would be alright as long as they had each other.

This Sunday my family are going to my uncles grave for his birthday. A dove will be released and balloons held by my uncles brothers and sisters will float gently up to the heavens with their love for him.

Family to me is this.

- Jen Gore,  Dublin

The draw took place for the hotel break for Pride Weekend in Dublin, and the winner is Joe Mulrennan from Roscommon. The draw was for all eligible received entries, not just published ones, but it turns out that his entry, “What Will” was posted already.

A big thank you to everyone who entered, and your entries will be posted over the next few days. 

But I still want to see more opinions of “What Family Means To Me” so please keep sending in your answers.

The nuclear family of the modern age is a media myth created by the American television comedy programmes of the 1950s and 1960s. The ‘happy family’ caricature was mother and father, son and daughter and Lassie the dog.

My parents came from Newry and Dundalk. I have four brothers and one sister. When I last counted I had more than 35 first cousins. Our home was in Dublin and so was the automatic port of call when aunts, uncles and cousins came to town.

My large extended family comes in all shapes and sizes, hairstyles, opinions, religious beliefs, occupations, sexual orientations, political passions, extraordinary obsessions, genders, ages, annoying habits and predictable behaviour. I am more than happy to be a member of it.

I believe that most, if not all families, are genetically programmed to love each other. That does not mean that we like each other! Liking one another’s company is an added bonus.

- Ruairi Quinn, TD

Family mean the world to me, I have stood by them no matter what and always will.
I recently lost the heart of my family. My Mum, she passed away tragically in February, there is not one day that goes by that I don’t think about her.
Family can be hard at times but you know there are always their for you, no matter what. When you grow up and leave home to start a life with you partner, they are you new family. Not that your brothers, sisters or grandparents don’t count any more, of course they do, but you start you own family… you get to watch them grow up, become young adults, and start family of their own, and all you can do is stand by them, no matter what choices they choose.

I’m dedicating this to my wonderful Mum and Brother (R.I.P) forever in my heart.”

- Mags, Dublin

When I was young it was my brother, sisters, and parents. I was the youngest in my household so I would depend on them and they were always there for me no matter what. I felt part of a loving environment and knew that what ever happens down the road I would have the support of my family.

As I grew so did my family, friends became more like siblings, we all watch out for each other and all have love for one another. If one of us were in need the rest would lend a hand and have a shoulder to cry on or a level head to give advice. I live with four very close friends at the minute who I am happy to call part of my family.

But I can’t help think on the future, when they will be all married off and having families of there own… Will I find a partner? Will we be allowed to get married? Have kids? Will our laws protect my children like they would of the children of my friends? Will our kids be made fun of for having two dad’s?

However life turns out for me I know I will have the support and love of my family, but still would like the chance to start my own some day to love and share my life with them.

- Joe Mulrennan, Roscommon