WRF2 : We Are Family Too

I’m from a big family. It used to be just my parents and seven kids. But then about thirteen years ago we started fostering. So at one stage there were twelve in the family, then fourteen, then back down to ten.

It’s a moveable feast.

People say a family that prays together, stays together. For me it’s a family that eats together, stays together!

We have a huge kitchen table. At Christmas two years ago there were fifteen at the table and my mother said how lovely it was to have the whole family together! Around the table sat two polish smallies who were with us for two years. They introduced us to smoked sausage, zupa and pierogi (gorgeous dumplings with sweet or savoury filling). And we gave them Tom Ka Gai, a Thai chicken soup that my eldest sister Ettie loves to make. We absolutely adore them; they were completely part of the family and still are. We have built up a great relationship with their mother over the years and she sees us as part of her extended family; people she can call on when she needs a hand or a few days off. They’re my annoying little siblings and I’m their older sister who plaits their hair and makes biscuits with them.

One of my sisters is originally from Jamaica and is probably the reason we all eat plantain (a starchy banana type vegetable). She’s completely part of the family and even claims that she has inherited some of her personality traits from our Granddad!

Our parents have always lead by example and provide a loving and secure home for everyone that passes through the house. We all grew up naturally accepting that you can add to the family as you go along and it makes for a richer life for everyone.

Family is the people that you hang around with and love unconditionally. The people that you would do anything for, and they would do anything for you. The glue that holds the family together is love and maybe a good pot of Thai chicken soup.

- Lilly Higgins, Cork

Unsurprisingly this  Ballymaloe trained chef who also taught at Ballymaloe Cookery School, is an excellent and creative cook…

There are many different definitions available for the word family:

a social unit living together,
primary social group; parents and children,
a person having kinship with another or others

Family to me is much more the last of those three definitions.

I have kinship with my mother – because it is she who raised me.
I have kinship with my father – because he guided me when needed.
I have kinship with my brother and sisters – because without each other we wouldn’t be the people we are now.
I have kinship with my friends – because we love and support each other through difficult times.

Family is much more than people that share your genetic structure. In fact some people never meet their biological “family” some people are adopted, grow up in state care or are fostered. This doesn’t mean they don’t have a family.

I have a large family – a family that has been forged over time that consists of not only blood relations.

To me family is the people you share your life with.

- Ben Slimm, Kerry
Reproduced from is blog with permission.

Last month my uncle died from cancer. He had been putting up the fight of his life for thirteen years. Over those years I only seen him a few times. He was a taxi driver, a huge family man, kind and an Elvis fan. Every time the future began to look bright again, the cancer came back stronger each time.

Over the past two years his condition went downhill and we didn’t know when but we knew the end was in sight. My family had always visited him and gave him the love and the support he needed when he was at his lowest points. What amazed me and what showed me what family really meant during the last weeks of my uncles life was how my mother and her brothers and sisters came together and helped each other through this difficult time. They were all up around his bedside everyday. They talked to him even though his sight, speech and mobility had gone. Sometimes if they were lucky he would show a sign that he was listening. The only things keeping my uncle alive were his hearing, his heart and his family.

My mother would come home for a rest and go straight back up to him. She told us how he was and how every night they were in his house the nurse would tell them to say their goodbyes, but he just wouldn’t let go.

What family means to me is being there for each other in the hardest of times, it means pulling together and facing what life throws at us, family means holding on until the very last second. My mother told us that they told him it was alright to let go, because they didn’t understand why my uncle held on for so long at the end. But i believe he held on until he knew that his brothers and sisters and his family would be alright as long as they had each other.

This Sunday my family are going to my uncles grave for his birthday. A dove will be released and balloons held by my uncles brothers and sisters will float gently up to the heavens with their love for him.

Family to me is this.

- Jen Gore,  Dublin

The nuclear family of the modern age is a media myth created by the American television comedy programmes of the 1950s and 1960s. The ‘happy family’ caricature was mother and father, son and daughter and Lassie the dog.

My parents came from Newry and Dundalk. I have four brothers and one sister. When I last counted I had more than 35 first cousins. Our home was in Dublin and so was the automatic port of call when aunts, uncles and cousins came to town.

My large extended family comes in all shapes and sizes, hairstyles, opinions, religious beliefs, occupations, sexual orientations, political passions, extraordinary obsessions, genders, ages, annoying habits and predictable behaviour. I am more than happy to be a member of it.

I believe that most, if not all families, are genetically programmed to love each other. That does not mean that we like each other! Liking one another’s company is an added bonus.

- Ruairi Quinn, TD

When I was young it was my brother, sisters, and parents. I was the youngest in my household so I would depend on them and they were always there for me no matter what. I felt part of a loving environment and knew that what ever happens down the road I would have the support of my family.

As I grew so did my family, friends became more like siblings, we all watch out for each other and all have love for one another. If one of us were in need the rest would lend a hand and have a shoulder to cry on or a level head to give advice. I live with four very close friends at the minute who I am happy to call part of my family.

But I can’t help think on the future, when they will be all married off and having families of there own… Will I find a partner? Will we be allowed to get married? Have kids? Will our laws protect my children like they would of the children of my friends? Will our kids be made fun of for having two dad’s?

However life turns out for me I know I will have the support and love of my family, but still would like the chance to start my own some day to love and share my life with them.

- Joe Mulrennan, Roscommon