WRF2 : We Are Family Too

To me, family is a group of people who love and support each other throughout life. Family is unconditional and something that is such a large part of my life. I moved to Dublin from a small country town trying to escape my old life, my lack of friends, being one of the few gays in the town, and I was looking forward to many new things happening in my life.

I loved the big city, the bright lights, the hustle and bustle of the areas but I always wished my family were here with me so I wouldn’t feel so alone and isolated. I love my family, they support me and I still learn things from them, even though I still remain stubborn about it. My granny who lives with my family back home would always say “Respect your mother and don’t dare bite the hand that feeds you or God help you” which I still find funny but I still agree with it.

I’m nothing without my family or friends. I consider my friends a family because we’re like a larger group of families that care for each other, and also people I can confide in when struggling to admit things to my parents – being gay was a main part of that. The day I outed myself to my parents my father turned to me and said “I’ll always love you no matter what” which really reinforced my ideas of unconditional love.

Family is much more than your parents, sisters, brothers, uncles, aunts, and cousins, it’s a community of loving and caring people who will always be there for you.

- Mark Hughes, Louth

There are many different definitions available for the word family:

a social unit living together,
primary social group; parents and children,
a person having kinship with another or others

Family to me is much more the last of those three definitions.

I have kinship with my mother – because it is she who raised me.
I have kinship with my father – because he guided me when needed.
I have kinship with my brother and sisters – because without each other we wouldn’t be the people we are now.
I have kinship with my friends – because we love and support each other through difficult times.

Family is much more than people that share your genetic structure. In fact some people never meet their biological “family” some people are adopted, grow up in state care or are fostered. This doesn’t mean they don’t have a family.

I have a large family – a family that has been forged over time that consists of not only blood relations.

To me family is the people you share your life with.

- Ben Slimm, Kerry
Reproduced from is blog with permission.

“Recently returning to live at home after four years away has been an enlightening experience and something I would not change. Well for the moment anyway.

For me, my family is the centre of my universe – my sun, moon and guiding stars. My family gives me the gift of love every single hour of every day – generally unconditionally unless there are chores to be done.

Regardless of chores, I love them.

Without my family, life would be meaningless to me. I would have nobody to discuss the intricities of GAA or why I should not plant a Clematis plant in such a small pot because it will not grow properly. Nor would my understanding of the effects of the seasons be as heightened as it is. As I live on a farm, I can just about make out when a cow is ‘bulling’ or a calf is sick or when a horse has a sore foot or that holly trees only grow berries when there are pairs together. All of these little things make my family life richer and it is richer because of the constant-ness of love.

Family provides stability. It provides the basic building blocks for devotion, loyalty and friendship. It is hardly any wonder then, that the historical family unit is so hotly contested given the wealth of positive attributes which are given to it. That said, the composition of family units can and do change. The stability a loving family is what is key. Love is the key to stability and acceptance of love in all its forms is what makes families work.”

- John/The Angry Hedgehog, Tipperary

When I was young it was my brother, sisters, and parents. I was the youngest in my household so I would depend on them and they were always there for me no matter what. I felt part of a loving environment and knew that what ever happens down the road I would have the support of my family.

As I grew so did my family, friends became more like siblings, we all watch out for each other and all have love for one another. If one of us were in need the rest would lend a hand and have a shoulder to cry on or a level head to give advice. I live with four very close friends at the minute who I am happy to call part of my family.

But I can’t help think on the future, when they will be all married off and having families of there own… Will I find a partner? Will we be allowed to get married? Have kids? Will our laws protect my children like they would of the children of my friends? Will our kids be made fun of for having two dad’s?

However life turns out for me I know I will have the support and love of my family, but still would like the chance to start my own some day to love and share my life with them.

- Joe Mulrennan, Roscommon

F – FUTURE Entitlements the same as everyone else in Ireland
A – ACCEPTANCE by Friends, Family and Neighbours
M – MUTUAL Respect given to gay people in the workplace
I – IRISH Gay Marriage Bill Passed by the Government
L – LOVE expressed with your partner in public comfortably
Y – YOUTH of today made aware at school of Gay Rights

- Pam, Dublin

“Family to me isn’t just what you are born into, but the people you take into your life to become part of yours. I have sisters and parents that I love but also friends who are indispensable.

More than that, I’ve a partner who is just that, a man who I want to share my life with regardless of concerns such as marriage or children. Soul mates isn’t a concept I subscribe to, believing that no one can complete you except yourself but for someone to share the journey with, I’d ask for no one else.

So I guess the old expression ‘blood is thicker than water, so harder to get out of the carpets’ holds true slightly. I love my family, but I wouldn’t be the man I am without the family I’ve taken on regardless of how they came to find me.”

- Charles, Cork

“Family to me will always be that kooky bunch of strange friends, that may not always see my point, but will always be there to pick me up and cheer me on.

My family means the world to me they are my teachers, my friends, my peers and students, we learn together and grow together; we are the ever changing group, not just by blood but by friendship, unity and exploration.

My family is huge … it is every person I have ever loved and everyone I ever will, it is bloodlines, and friendships, its marriages and unions. Its everything I’ve ever been and everything I’ve yet to discover, family knows no bounds”

– Gilly Pardy, Dublin

Family means to me is somewhere I belong and feel safe and where I can be myself. I also believe  that somewhere that I know I be accepted no matter what I am or do in life.
I am lucky to have family that accepts me for who I am no matter what type of choices I have made in life.

I am also lucky to have found friends that have adopted me into their family as I have adopted them too .   (you know who you are wonderful people)

Always remember you can also choose your family, they do not have to be blood related.

– Sabrina bikerwitch Devine, Dublin

From the always ideal Waltons to the truly dysfunctional menagerie that is the Simpson family we all know that families come in all shapes, sizes and temperaments. I consider myself to have two families, the blood line that I have come from and the many LGBTQ friends that I have made in Dublin and further afield. I think of them as my family too.

Just like any family at times there are spats, there are times when you have to step on eggshells and times you have to tell someone their outfit is fabulous when in fact it looks like a fashion car crash; all this comes with the territory and I know that when I really need help, support or just an ear to bend my LGBTQ family will be there for me with a bottle of red in their hands.

I think that this years pride theme, “”We Are Family Too”", is especially relevant as we eagerly anticipate the passing of the Civil Partnership Bill. To be united as partners in the eyes of the state is progress but LGBTQ family units deserve recognition too and I hope that a day will come that we get same the same rights as everyone else; the sooner the better too.

Have an amazing pride and make sure you go all of the Pride Events!!!
Will Keane, Dublin Pride 2010 Head of Events, Dublin